There is something that has been on my mind for a solid month that I have almost felt too nervous or prideful to ask because of the answers that may be given. But I’m at the point where I need to know because it’s driving me to the point of insanity.
Over and over you read about how TFA has not successfully prepared its Corps members to go into the situations they are in. Okay great, we are past that. But I want to know the truth about first year Corps members.
In the midst of trying to figure out how to be a teacher, let alone in the environments we are put in, is it normal for your kids to not do well your first year? We just finished first quarter, and to be honest the majority of my kids are not doing well and it is affecting me emotionally, mentally, and physically, Emotionally because all I want is for them to do better, mentally because it’s ALL I think about, and physically because I am working my BUTT off and it seems no results are producing.
But I’ve been scared to ask. And I’m sure TFA is glad I feel like this and why they hired me because it is pushing me to be better. But I want the truth. Because all we watch are the same videos over and over of the amazing first year transformational teachers. So we’re convinced that if we are not doing that our first year, that we should not feel good about ourselves because we were hired to be transformational teachers.
Okay honestly, right now, I’m just trying to figure out how to be a TEACHER.
I want to know the truth from people who have been in the Corps, what they have experienced, and what it is really like for the majority of first year Corps members. And if the answer to my question is “no, students are usually doing well by this time,” then please tell me. Because I need to know what I’m going through isn’t normal, then I guess I need to keep making my body at the point to where it feels like this. But if there is some hidden truth where it is actually somewhat the norm for the kids to not be doing that well by this time, please tell me.
The pressure from TFA and our district has made my mind feel brainwashed and it has gotten me to the point where I am unhealthy because of how much I am working. Let alone how it is on my mind every.second.of.the.day.